Frustrated with herself, Nadia slammed the door and continued down the hallway without looking back. She had spent enough time sitting in the apartment with a million ideas running through her mind. The whole renting an apartment idea was supposed to free her mind, instead she was feeling as though she was completely trapped inside it.
As soon as she reached the stairway, she slammed her palm against the wall, the sound of her shoes scuffling along the stairs only echoed a noise very similar. Then, she reached the landing between the floors.
She bounced off of the wall with a quick push and began down the next set of stairs to the floor below. At the last step, Nadia jumped into the air and extended her legs at the right moment to slam both feet down on the concrete floor at the same time, sending an echo through the cracked door in front of her.
Without pause, she continued down the next set of stairs. The thought of her writing talent being wasted was of no help at all. Without writing, she felt as though she was nothing, a nobody who nobody cared for. Being unable to write, though she had plenty of quiet space to think, was a waste.
Her shoes told of the speed in which she had been running down the last set of stairs. The door just ahead of the bottom step swung open with speed, coming to a stop only when the bottom of the door slid across the rugged pavement that had been laid down in the alley.
Nadia glanced down, then tilted her head back and closed her eyes. She stepped back to the door and gave a quick tug. She pulled and jerked it, but the door was stuck.
“No worries there, little lady. I’ll get that for ya,” came a friendly voice from behind.
“Yeah, thanks,” Nadia replied as she turned to see a heavy-set construction worker walking toward her. Instantly, she pulled her arms in and stepped out of his way.
“Sorry, been out here all mornin’ with no one to talk to. I’ve been practicing lines for some ridiculous setup these producers have goin’ on, but to tell ya the truth, I think my luck is the worst it’s been in years,” the man said as he pushed and pulled on the door a couple times. “See? Got it.”
Nadia had been slowly walking away from him while watching him. It seemed to much easier when he pushed on the door and it moved. He tugged on the door and it moved. “Yeah. Thank you,” she replied with a nod before spinning around.
“You take care of yourself.”
Nadia raised her hand to her shoulder and simply waved instead of following through with the thought that had come to her mind. She stopped on the sidewalk and looked around.
In that moment, the saw a man standing at the end of the block to her left selling hotdogs. He had two men and one woman waiting in a line while tending to a younger man. Beside him, there stood a pile of people waiting to cross the street, if only the light would change.
Closer to her, Nadia watched a couple men pass by wearing expensive suits with matching briefcases. Only one of them wore a watch; it was on the gentleman’s left wrist. Nadia turned her head and walked to the edge of the sidewalk in order to double-check.
“Excuse me!” a man yelled as he grabbed her wrist. “I really don’t want to watch you commit suicide this morning, so please back away and wait until I’m gone.”
Nadia was at a loss for words as she watched the gentleman scurry down the block. Words didn’t begin to form in her mind until she watched the light change at the intersection he was walking toward. “Thanks, I think,” she curiously said. “Maybe,” she added with a second thought.
She turned in one big circle to look around. Taking in the sights and sounds of the busy street, Nadia smelled the hotdogs from the stand at the corner. She could also smell perfume mixed with a wet dog scent. Then, two pooches passed by her, being walked by a man wearing black tights talking on a cellphone.
“There’s a man on the corner sellin’ hot-dogs, a crowd of people waiting to cross the street. There’s a woman wearing lovely perfume, and some guy who doesn’t belong wearing tights,” she said raising her hand to block her view as she turned around.
“Then, we’ve got the other half of the block which seems to be filled with businessmen who seem to be on their way to lunch, or a meeting, or to flirt and tease their mistresses while their wives are at home with the children,” Nadia said glancing between a couple of them on cellphones. “There’s a guy on a bicycle, riding on the sidewalk—” she said as he neared. “Oh, correction: A cute guy on a bicycle riding on the sidewalk,” she said, turning to keep her eyes on him as he passed by her.
Nadia slouched her shoulders and let her smile fade when he glanced back and raised his left hand, revealing his wedding band. “Lucky woman you’ve got there, buddy; I hope she realizes it.”
She took in a deep breath and exhaled, tilting her head back the more she exhaled. When her lungs were finally empty, Nadia was staring up at the top of one of many buildings that surrounded her. The building that she had just stepped out of, though it was just as tall as any of the others, seemed rather petite from the inside.
Inhaling another deep breath, Nadia caught the scent of hotdogs and perfume again. Then, she noticed the scent of aftershave and a milkshake. A child’s laughter pulled her attention from the skies above.
Walking toward her was a father who was clean-shaven and a little girl, maybe eight years old, holding a milkshake in one hand, her father’s hand in the other. Nadia couldn’t help but show her appreciation when she saw the little girl look up at her daddy and smile.
“I love you, sweetheart,” the man said as they passed by.
“I love you, too, Daddy,” Nadia lipped in sync with the little girl.
She sighed and realized that she was still staring at them. As soon as she turned her head away, thoughts of her own father leaving filled her mind. The warm, happy feeling that had been only moments ago was replaced by a saddening cold that sent a chill down her spine.
“Wa–Watch it! Watch it!” a man yelled as he continued passed her.
Nadia jumped backward and quickly found the wall of a building behind her. Thankfully, there was just enough room for her feet not to be run over by the dolly the man was pulling along. She shook her head unable to respond in time to be heard, for the second time.
“Suicide,” she whispered while watching the traffic pass by in the busy street. “Suicide,” she repeated in the same whisper. “Su-ic-ide. Why do you run–and–hide? You lock yourself away–from–the world! You’re but a–sin-gle–girl! — Oh, suicide! — There’s so much more to you than what meets–the–eye!” Nadia finished in song, realizing that she had attracted the attention of several passersby while completely lost in thought.
“Brilliant!” one man shouted before applauding.
“That was awesome!” a teenaged boy agreed with a wide smile.
“Very well done, my lady,” an older gentleman offered with a tip of his hat as he passed by her.
Nadia raised a hand to her mouth and covered half of her face as she politely curtsied for the crowd that had obviously enjoyed her short song. She curtsied again, glancing around the few faces that were remaining, then wiped a single tear from her eye.
A giggle began in the pit of her stomach, in the exact same spot that she had felt the hatred for her father settling. It grew over the course of seconds into a burst of laughter, seeming rather out of the ordinary for the people who were passing by her.
“Oh, sorry!” she laughed, offering a smile and a wave. “I’m just happy right now,” she added pointing at her face.
“Well, that’s quite obvious,” a man replied holding a cellphone against his chest.
“As well, you should be,” another voice yelled from across the street. “You’re alive and well!”
Nadia nodded her head and offered a wave, noticing that she also received a smile in return for her efforts. Then, she spun on her heel and inhaled a deep breath as she started toward the door that had gotten stuck.
The bounce in her step softened when she saw that heavy-set man standing beside a giant truck. She stared as she neared him, noticing his hat in his hand while his other wiped sweat from his face.
“Oh, you again?”
“Yeah,” Nadia replied as she stopped only a couple feet away from him. “Listen, I’m sorry about earlier. I’m a struggling writer and I’ve been having a bad day for the passed couple of days. I just couldn’t take it, anymore, I guess.”
The man’s smile widened and he nodded his head. “We’ve all been there, sweetheart. But, you gotta remember to keep your head up and keep your eyes, ears, and mind open, so each of them can pay better attention to what your heart’s telling you to do,” he quickly explained to her.
Nadia allowed her smile to widen as she began to nod in agreement.
“Just follow your heart and go after your dreams,” the man offered with half a grin. “Don’t be like me. I’ve passed up so many better jobs that I’m having a hard enough time keepin’ this lousy job. Now, the truck wants to be a pain in my rear-end. All the sudden, it broke down; no good reason,” he said as he kicked the tire.
“Well mister, I really do hope that your day brightens up. I sure know that you’ve helped to brighten mine,” Nadia said as she walked toward the contraption that had gotten stuck on the pavement.
“Hey, hold on,” he replied as he pulled a phone from his shirt pocket, his finger still in the air when Nadia pulled the door open. “Hah! That was old boss man. He told me to lock up the truck and leave it here. I’ve got the rest of the day off and I get paid for it!”
“What good news! That’s awesome!” Nadia replied, offering a short applaud.
“Oh, you’re tellin’ me,” the man said as he pulled open the door of the truck. “Now, if I can make it in time, I should be able to watch my little girl play the part of a fairy in her school play,” he explained before slamming the door closed. “You have a good one and take care!” he offered as he hurried down the alley.
Nadia stood there staring at him, a smile on her face. “You, too,” she said under her breath, sure that he wouldn’t have heard even if she had screamed it. Then, she turned toward the open door awaiting her and walked back into the building, the bounce in her step returned to its rightful place.
This is the very first piece of writing that I have offered anyone in a few years. My last attempt of sharing my work with others didn’t go over as well as I had hoped; maybe there were too few interested in erotica when I offered.
You’re welcome to read it and offer whatever words of wisdom you choose. I’m always in search of opinions.